Coerced into Regret

When I was a preteen girl, but still a bit too young to get pregnant, my early teen brother and I were coerced by our parents into participating in posing nude for polaroid pictures and making early VHS tapes showing both of us engaging in mutual masturbation and engaging in sex with each other several times prior to my staring my periods at thirteen. I am still trying to come to terms with how much I actually enjoyed doing all of that perverted behavior at the time and it all haunts me still.

This was when there were VHS Tapes and I was a child. I was manipulated and most definitely heavily coerced into doing sex tapes with adult males while I was still a child. 
I still occasionally have nightmares about those times and everything I did and was done to me. I lived in denial about it, keeping the secret from husbands (2) and sadly living through chronic promiscuous childhood behavior with old guys and full  adult men.