Raped

I confess that I was always groped and eventually raped by my father (I am a girl) when I was 15 and since then have been having sex with him til present. I do not understand what has happened to me! I hate and also like the fact...I wanna tell my mom but...I am scared and also dont want to stop doing it. I feel that I need him groping me at nights and the whole idea of it just turns me and gets me so anxious. I hate myself and feel dirty because he is my dad!! But I have never been with no one else! I feel like some what scared to get involved with another person or even say anything about my father. Ive tried looking for help but when I get too close I back out. The last time I had sex with him was this morning when my mom left to work and now I am sitting here at my desk thinking about getting help again....I need help! Suggestions anyone? <!-- s:( --<!-- s:( --> <!-- s:?: -->:<!-- s:?: --> <!-- s:oops: -->:oops:<!-- s:oops: -->

Maybe you should call the police and tell them. If your dad has sex with you again, DON'T WASH, SHOWER OR BATH! His body fluids inside and on you is DNA evidence that the police can use in court.

When I was 17 I got pushed into a room by three guys that forced me into having sex with them. I was in a party and these three guys kept looking at me all night. I was so scared I let them do whatever the wanted because I didn't wanted anyone to know what was going on in that room. I remember them holding me naked on a bed forcing my legs apart, licking my breasts and making comment about how sweat my pussy tasted. I remember them taking turns on me and sodomizing my butt. The fact that I could hide my sexual reflexes convinced them that I was enjoying it. I never said anything out of embarrassment and the fact they never penetrated me with their penises made me unsure if it technically qualified as rape. I never said a word about what happed that night, but remember it as if it had just happed yesterday. The worst was putting my clothes back on and walking out in front of everyone, that probably figured out what happed behind that locked door.

You sound like a very smart and intelligent person. You seem to be handling the situation very well but what they did was wrong and should be reported. I don't know how long ago his happened and as you say they didn't penetrate you so really it's assault but you should still report it. And the fact you remember it so clearly means I think although you are handling it well, you should consider discussing with a qualified professional. Hope this helps