I had to grow up, I wasn't given the choice not to

It seems like forever ago. It was 2016, I am 30 now. I found myself, I realize that I put myself at risk by letting him in. I found myself under him shoving himself in me until he came. He didn't get off immediately, he held me down and told me that he expected me to act like a grown up and not a spoiled girl. 

It was my first time, I wasn't active at all, and I got pregnant with my son. I had to promise him I would grow up and behave myself and not act like a spoiled brat. I licked my wounds after he left, cussed him out. I was a spoiled brat, I just didn't know it. 

I was put on a curfew, limited who I could see, where I could go, what I could do. The funny thing is I behaved because I didn't want him upset or angry with me. In the words of a friend, I transferred myself to him. He sent me to school, paid everything, I had 'duties', and he kept an eye on my grades. I finished school with a degree in Finance, and my reward was getting pregnant again. Go girl, make them babies. 

Over these ten years I've mellowed, I feel much older than I am, I run the home, and look after the money. With two kids I'm always busy. I know I'm much more grown up than many people my age. I don't know how many times I say 'grow up'. I'm not too serious.  I'm just not the spoiled brat I was then.