I had gone through life my way. I was in a ten year relationship with a girl I met in college, we had talked about getting married. I worked for the same company for seven years and was making pretty decent money. She worked for a non profit so the money wasn't as good, I basically paid all the big bills and she contributed to the small stuff.
But things happen. Not when you plan them. Not when you want them. Things happen and it changes you forever. In my case it was at an out of town training. We stayed at this motel across the street from the training facility. I man was next to me, he looked blue collar. He came to my door at night and I was not thinking and opened the door and he got into my room, and he had his way with me. To be honest it wasn't violent, it was insistent. He was going to do it and I gave in to him. He finished, and wiped himself off on the sheet and left me. I lay there, alone, cold from the air conditioning. Half naked, a wet spot under me. Well, I told myself, you got fucked.
I didn't tell my partner about it. I didn't tell anyone. But the memory just wouldn't leave me alone. I used my hand to masturbate, but I needed something in me. I used a child's baseball bat that my partner had from a baseball game. But I couldn't get enough, and my partner was out of town, and I went out to this wine bar that had reputation for secretaries and older men, I got picked up by an old geezer, he took me to his car and I had to give him oral sex there. He took me to my apartment and on my bed that I shared with my partner, he gave it to me. Hard, uncaring, just sex. Forced sex. Hard sex. Whatever you want to call it. He came in me, and after he left I was on my back again, with a wet spot. I had been fucked again.
I gave into it. I let a man at work fuck me. He likes me enough, and likes fucking me. So I let him fuck me. It's usually at his apartment during lunch, or right after work. More than once I went back to work still leaking down my leg. To me, his cum leaking from me is erotic. I use my finger to lap it up. What I like is when my partner is out of town and he fucks me and I lay on my back with a wet spot. I love being fucked. I want to be fucked. I'm glad this man wants to fuck me. Because I need it.
