A special arrangement

My confession is that I turned out gay and I'm stuck in a twenty year marriage with three children. I haven't worked since my first was born, eighteen years ago.  I'm 'dependent' on my husband. And he's taught me to live this lifestyle. 

I found out about my nature, by accident. A friend, we were together, she kissed me, I kissed her. Etc. I didn't feel guilty. The 'affair' has been going on since 2020. My husband found out, he walked in on us. 

He gave me the ultimatum. No more affairs, or I'm out. I get it, I suppose if it was the other way I'd be arrested. I love her, but I love him too. And I trust him. I broke up with her. I want him back, I'm willing to be a good wife. I've been a wife so long I'm not ready or able to be single. 

We had a meeting with the children. Mom cheated, with a woman. We are separated. The children weren't understanding. Our daughter doesn't think two women is cheating. All women have a woman in her life, the 'best' friend. 

My 'best' friend talked to my husband, I wasn't with a man, so why was he so upset about it? . She asked him if he wanted two women? He got a special arrangement, and the women got each other. Two forty year old women and a fifty year old man. Some special arrangement! 

I've known my lesbian tendencies since I was ten and very sexually active with most of my female friends during sleepovers but I never stopped listening king guys too. 
I lost my virginity to a teenager at eleven, no regrets, but navigating my being Bi has been occasionally 'm still trying to navigate it now.