I'm going to say a lot here. I was a card carrying feminist, lesbian, progressive. I left college with my orders, I joined a group that wanted Hillary in office, then Biden, and then Kamala. We failed with Hillary, I was 22 then. We won with Biden, I was 26 then. We failed with Kamala, I was 30 then. I needed a job, that paid money. I was tired of being broke and poor. My parents no longer helped me out. I didn't have a car, I lived in an apartment with three other women, two bedrooms, to women to a room. One bathroom. I got a job making 38 thousand, twice what I had made earlier. And this job had benefits, insurance which I had failed to pay the premiums.
The first thing that I had to deal with is that there were a lot men there, and it became apparent pretty soon that it was male dominated. The men there were all engineers and lawyers and CPAs, thinkers and doers. The man I worked for called me in to talk to me, either shape up or he would replace me. His eyes were cold, unemotional. He meant it. I had to come in on time. I had to be civil and no politics or religion allowed during work hours. My job was data entry, and any error was flagged and I was called on the carpet. I felt belittled, picked on because I was a lesbian and I refused to stand at the ball game for the national anthem. I was fired three weeks later, no severance, I hadn't been there long enough.
I wasn't hurt, I was angry. I stopped my ex boss when he left the building and challenged him and told him I was suing for discrimination. When I raised the lesbian flag he answered 'didn't know', 'irrelevant'. He told me that this man he knew was looking for a girl to be a cashier at his restaurant. It paid 12 dollars and hour, no benefits. Take it or leave it. That's where I needed to start, I wasn't office work material.
Two weeks later I went and asked to speak with my exboss. I asked him to give me a chance. I needed the money. He told me no one gave a damn who I slept with, no one wanted to hear my opinions, my work required paying attention to detail, if I let an error in, it infected the whole process. No second chance, no warning. If I screwed up I was out on the street again.
I had never kissed up to man before. I had never been quiet when a man was talking. When he asked me to bring something in for the Thanksgiving office dinner, I didn't have any place to prepare something. In my apartment, the oven didn't work. I told him I would buy a cake for desert. He told me not even to bring it up, everyone else was preparing something. That's what broke me. I fell apart and started crying. I'm 32 and going nowhere.
My boss took me out to a restaurant after Thanksgiving and told me to look around. He didn't give a damn about that woman in the booth over there, or the cashier, or that woman walking in. He cared about me, but I had to show him I was worth it. I had to home make something every week and bring it in for the team. And, I had to go to his house and fold the laundry. Every week. If I wanted to be treated like an adult, I had to be an adult. If I wanted to be respected as a woman I had to be woman, and that meant cooking with the other women, and folding his laundry.
He had sex with me at his house when I was there folding laundry. No preamble, not excuses. He wanted woman sex from me. Make every woman proud. I helped with the laundry, and the cooking. I made the bed in the morning. I did the grocery shopping, and I dealt with the maid service. I kept the house in order. I went to bed without complaining. Woman sex requires giving him my full attention. And he had sex with me. All the time. Until I didn't mind, until I was upset if he didn't.
I'm 33, I am not working. He wants all woman at home all the time. He has a picture of me around the house in his office. For him to look at, to remind him I'm a woman. I let him take the pictures, and he framed them. I have to fit in with the other housewives. Those are my marching orders. That's my job now. In this job I have to prove myself every day.
