Reply: Jestem w ciąży z moim byłym mężem

Slowmo accident in progress: I'm sure u had a part in his readon to yell and throw things. It doesnt excuse bad behavior and he needs to eork on demons too to overcome drinking. Unless both get gelp it will just perpetuate f'd up kids.

I’ve been divorced for two years. I left my husband because he used to get aggressive when he was drunk—though it was never physical violence, just shouting and throwing things. But it happened often enough. We were married for seven years, and things just kept getting worse, so I decided to divorce him. We have two children together, and now I’m raising them alone.
Every now and then, he comes over to talk, usually drunk, so I don’t let him in. But two months ago, when he came by again, I was bored sitting at home alone, so I let him in. He was a little tipsy, but it just seemed to give him more energy. Our conversation over tea quickly turned into him complimenting me, saying he still loves me, misses me, and can’t go more than a few weeks without seeing me—that’s why he keeps coming over.
I don’t know what came over me, but he took my hand, leaned in to kiss me, and I let him.
And what’s worse—I felt butterflies in my stomach. I still found him attractive, and I was turned on. I looked at him, at his flirting, and I was intoxicated by the excitement. But I shouldn’t have been, given our past.
Step by step, I let him touch me, and then I spread my legs when his hand wandered there. It felt so , then his tongue, and finally, his penis. Unfortunately, in bed, I’m quite submissive, and I think that’s the main reason I stayed with him for so long—even when he’d come home drunk at night, he’d often fuck me hard and aggressively, like some roadside slut. I think there’s a bit of a masochist in me, because instead of pushing him away, it turned me on. This time, I experienced it all over again and drowned in those feelings.
God, the more I think about it, the more I’m sure I still love him.
Unfortunately, the conclusion of this confession is different—I haven’t been on birth control for these two years since I didn’t have a partner, and I certainly didn’t keep condoms at home, so I was incredibly stupid to let him come inside me. In fact, I practically asked for it. And now I’m pregnant. I told him he’s going to have a third child with me. He was over the moon. He promised that whenever I’m ready, he’ll move back in and help with the baby. He even said he wants to propose to me again.
, the more I want him back and to be his wife again. Maybe the divorce was a mistake. The kids miss him too, and I won’t be able to handle a newborn and two older children on my own. And I still love him. But I’m torn and I still haven’t made a decision.