Reply: Life long closeted gay man

I really think I have been a closeted gay man since I was a young boy 
 When I was 10 my cousin and I got naked and had oral sex and the very next day I met him stick his dick in my ass and he fucked me and he fucked me 10”’s if times over the years and there were other boys I let have sex with me. 
 I really got excited dropping my jeans to let a boy put his hard cock yo my ass. Getting fucked always felt good to me and it was very exciting to let them
Cum inside of me. In high school I had three buddies that I let take turns on me at least once a week if not numerous times a week. 
 It was just expected and very casual. We would all go some where private undress and they all fucked me and they always took two or three turns on me and I liked letting them fuck me and cum inside of me. 3 hard horny young boys all taking turns on me and it would go on for awhile as they were always hard and wanting to fuck and get off. 
 Nono e ever knew what we were doing they always thought we were just good friends little did they know I was having sex with them letting them fuck me and sucking their  dicks
  I am
In my 60’s now and all thru my life I have let men fuck my ass and I have sucked my share of dicks and my favorite experiences have always been with very big cocks 
 It is true because I just had to find out. Twice over the years I have had sex with black men and both were over 10” and very thick.  Both times it was in a private hotel room and they both fucked me multiple times and it was great. 
 I really got excited watching them fuck my white ass as I looked in a mirror as their huge black cocks fucked my white ass. I have also had a few huge Mexican cocks too. 
 I have this fantasy of having 4 men of each color 4 white 4 black and 4 Hispanic men to gang bang me in a private cabin way up in the mountains near a creek so they could take me outside and tie me up and gang rape my ass for hours. I think I could enjoy a long weekend with 12 huge cocks fucking my ass and I really want two big cocks on my ass at the same time. 
 I love being married and having a family but I have a very private dark secret. I also like cock and taking it up the ass 

I grew up in various countries as my father went to another posting.  It was in Pakistan when Mohammed the house boy sucked my dick. I sucked him back. It lasted for the time we lived in Karachi. We followed around but I never had the opportunity again until I was in college. For college I was sent back to live with my grandparents.

In college I met a guy who was getting his degree after spending three years in prison and was on probation for a DUI fatality. He made friends with me and on that occasion I was at his apartment and he offered his dick to me. I hesitated but took his dick in my hand and loved on it with my mouth. The feeling I had when I was with Mohammed came back in wave upon wave. I didn't realize how much I liked it. It became a regular thing, including anal.

I left college for the brave outside world and did well enough and got promoted. It was very obvious that certain behaviors were not tolerated, and anything gay was at the top of that list. I met a girl there and she wanted to get married and before I knew what I was doing she had enticed me into bed with her. Although I had sex with her, she was the initiator and was in control. We got married because I was being transferred.

Being married with children was good for my career and she was a good corporate wife. She loved that role and lived it. My little problem never left me, and I met a man around, who had a small shop fixing lawn mowers and other small power equipment. In the back of his shop he offered me his dick and I took it. It was dangerous, he was active in the underground gay scene and introduced me other gay men. All closeted. 

I don't kid myself, I have always been gay, but it has not been possible to live the gay life. I'm still in the closet and I am retired. I have my ways and I get around, I am currently seeing Gary a handyman. It seems I gravitate to bigger men with big hands and big equipment. I'm the cocksucker and I love pleasing him.